Updated: Sep 15
Its no secret that 2020 has been quite the damn year!!!! There has been a pandemic this year, which has caused so many things to happen; people to be isolated from their loved ones, as well as losses... job wise and "loved one" wise. A surplus of mental health issues are present for many; along with the struggles some have already been experiencing due to emotional issues that the pandemic may intensify.
“Race wars” and “spiritual warfare” at an all time high. Some of us need more time to ourselves than others during this pandemic, so we should always be nice to others even loved ones. However, a lot of us are taking notice of relationships that we care about that we have fell off with or feel stagnant in. In this year of transformation, you may be concerned and ready to move past the feeling of being stagnant and get that friendship back on and poppin’.
Well...Self growth, transformation, new life, spiritual awakenings and healing are some positive common 2020 themes to take notice in! So much darkness has happened but there is light also shining. Despite things not working in our favor, Gratitude is soul food!!! This hard ass year has caused us to take time in many ways to rest, evaluate / reassess your life and self, go through storms, be productive and also really reflect on what and who is important. Some of us want to reconstruct important relationships now and honey, you should if you are ready! Here are a few things you can do in anticipation that can help at this time:
1.Work on yourself.
Take “Me Time” out daily. Make a therapy appointment with a mental health counselor, psychologist, social worker, etc and actually go. Read. Reflect. Evaluate positive things about yourself, question your way of thinking, assess what you like and need. Accept constructive criticism. Always be better than you were before. Do not pressure yourself but remember: You come before ANYBODY and so does your well-being. You cannot pour into other ships without pouring into your relationship with yourself. You do not want to be codependent on others, building your life from others' and so a huge serving self love helps. The better of a person you are for yourself, the better you can be to others. When you make time to be intentional about loving on yourself daily, you learn how to appropriately love others. Your relationship with others is a mirror reflection of yourself.
2. Know your Boundaries.
Have you ever felt uncomfortable in a dynamic with someone or in a situation, and you know something needs to change? Take action and make it better. You deserve it and don’t let anyone make you feel like you do not deserve to be respected. Learn your personal boundaries for yourself before thinking of relationship boundaries. Determine what will be accepted from others and what you will not accept. Boundaries can be emotional, physical, and privacy. Those are boundaries - what will be your limit to being uncomfortable? Boundaries show others how to treat you. A boundary for one friend does not look exactly the same, and you have to assess your level of comfort. Some can be more rigid than others. Knowing boundaries help ALL ships thrive - self relationship, family, work, friends, romantic relationships, past partners, medical, etc.
3. Always be yourself and spend time to Rediscover YOU boo!
Nobody is perfect and self awareness is key - we go through phases, setbacks and we are all human sharing this world free to feel, elevate, live. We all mess up living as spiritual beings in our human bodies - we bleed the same blood and nobody is better than anyone. We are capable of being accountable by future actions. Use every opportunity to build! Forget whatever wicked , wack, conditioning and conflicting ideas you were told about yourself and your “personality” because you are a special and complex being. Be real with yourself on qualities you need to work on and what you thrive in. Being self aware means you are knowledgeable of your own emotions, values, behaviors, your character, likes/ dislikes, habits, needs, desires, and intentions. Get in touch with your inner child and reacquaint yourself with things you enjoyed as a child that still have that “feel good” effect today. Take chances with yourself. Believe in yourself. This empowers you to always build on yourself and actively work on areas of improvement. We are powerful and can be better. This kind of person can do well in other relationships because self aware people are able to manage relationships better, understand other people’s emotions and monitor their own.
This is an ongoing process, you do not arrive to these things as an end process, because as you grow you continue to evolve. However, doing this work ongoing is worth it with being more present and intentional; which can help you elevate your relationships with others to new heights as you elevate the one with yourself.
We are all social beings and our lives continue to shift like the ocean and we will always go through phases like the moon shows us. Essentially, being honest about things that make you happy as well as those that make you feel insecure or vulnerable, helps you to be more confident with feelings as you progress in how you learn to handle them. Then you know what you can bring to a relationship whether it be a friendship, relationship, etc. You continue to learn how to trust, practice discernment (good judgment), and also learn how to self disclose in a way where your relationships grow in quality because you are open, being relatable and even more easier to approach.
Give yourself a shot, I promise it will be a blast…not 100 % easy, but quite the adventure you SHOULD take. Like Bey’ said.. “Step into your Power”. You got this!
Melissa from "Naturealizta.Beauty"
NYS Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Digital Content Creator
FB/IG/ Youtube: "Naturealizta.Beauty"
Owner of Self care line: "Natureal Essentials" www.naturealessentials.com